Yep this week has really fallen into the fail category. And I had wonderfully big plans; this was the start of my productive summer. I was going to spend the week really cleaning the house- not just straightening up, like get the cobwebs from the corners of the ceiling clean. I was also going to start my workouts. Last weekend we joined the YMCA, signed the bug up for swim classes and made plans to attend some yoga classes and get my butt in gear to walk the treadmill for a while. I am totally out of shape and need to lose some weight and I have no real excuses except that I am lazy and I have a full-time job and a toddler and no time to get some exercise in and no one to watch the baby while I do it. And the kicker is that if I exercise, if I get myself moving, I can take off weight pretty easily. But I don’t. And this was all going to change this week now that I discovered the Y has child care for $2 an hour- seriously, the bug could get some social time in and I could work out in peace and all it would cost is $2 (for members)? Awesome. I was set; I would start this great plan on Tuesday (because Monday was Memorial Day and thus the Y would be closed.)
But then on Sunday night it started, a scratchy throat, a stuffy nose and a headache- crap I was getting a cold. I had done so very well this semester- I mean I work in what basically amounts to a petri-dish so I know all of the rules- wash hand frequently, do not touch your mouth or eyes and spray student work with Lysol- which is a trick I learned when one of my grad school friends caught scabies from one of her students- seriously scabies. I have also gotten around some of this by having students turn in most assignments electronically-, which is both eco-friendly and battling germs, friendly. But no one tells you how to handle a toddler who wants to kiss you right on the mouth and then licks your face because she is pretending she’s a dog. So then I was down, and now the husband is whining because he has a stuffy nose and oh my god the world may just end because he is acting like he has never, ever had a cold before in his life!!
So we never got to the Y this week- all my plans of better health have been put on hold. And while I know that the other people at the Y are happy I did not spread my plague germs around the treadmill- I am a little disappointed that my plan didn’t work out. I am the kind of person who once I make up my mind to do something I want to do it now. And of course the bug picks this week to go all two year old on me. Maybe it was the cold, maybe it was just the week that she decided she was going to push to see just how far she could go- but every little thing set off a temper tantrum of epic proportions which included the throwing of oneself on the ground, the stomping of feet and a high pitched scream that I am pretty sure could wake the dead. Here just a short list of the world’s transgressions against the bug:
- Milk failed to be served in the sippy cup of her choice.
- Her blankie being put in the wash (taking a bath) because it got poop on it.
- Being told that I would not in fact open a paint can so that she could paint the wall.*
- The skies pouring down rain while we were outside-making us go inside to avoid hail.
- The cat not wanting to be pulled somewhere by his tail.
- Being told “no” in any form but particularly that she could not pull off the safety plugs in an outlet.
- Her trains obeying the laws of magnetism and her reluctance to just turn one around so they would connect.
- My insistence that she be buckled into her car seat when traveling in the car.
- The reluctance of birds to come eat out of the bird feeder that we had just filled when she stood below it yelling- “come eat birds.”
10. Anyone’s desire to go to the bathroom alone.
11. Anyone’s desire to shower alone.
12. Being told she could not open and play in the stove, and the washing machine and the toilet.
13. My husband’s insistence that she sleep at some point.
And I know someone out there with a less willful child is thinking- just redirect her, distract her- and to you I say bite me. This child is stubborn and persistent, traits my husband insists that she gets from me, but my mom says I was totally not like that as a toddler- it was something that developed later in life. But it is a new week and I am not sick anymore so let’s just hope the world will treat the bug a little better- or really just give her whatever she wants because I think that is the only thing that will make her happy.