Posted by: mountainmomma18 | May 25, 2009

Fortunate Son

Let me tell you I think that I have the best of both worlds, I get to go to work and I get to stay home with the bug. I am lucky. I am fortunate. But I never know what to say to people when they ask if I stay home, well yes I do, but only part time, but that’s ok because my husband stays home the other half. That is way too much of an explanation for someone who probably didn’t care one way or another and was just trying to be nice. But for anyone who is curious, here’s the deal. I am a college professor, which means that I do not have a 9-5 regular type job, I work odd hours and I don’t work (as in I’m not in class) everyday and I have a pack and play in my office. I work with awesome people who love to see Bug enter the building and run down the halls and a chair who schedules the husband and I on opposite days. And we both teach some web based classes as well. This means that three days a week I am a stay home mommy, playing blocks and picking up bits of waffle off of the floor, but I am grading at nap time and posting class assignments on web based platforms for my class. The other two days I get up early put on some lipstick and shoes that are not flip flops and teach, grade and hold office hours. Every other Friday I go in for a few hours to attend meetings and catch up. The husband does the same thing, just on opposite days. I love this, because one of us is always home with the bug, we do not have to pay for daycare and I get to have the career I worked so very hard for. Besides being crazy busy most of the time, that part of my life is awesome.
But I will admit that when people hear about my situation many still judge me for not staying at home full time, or maybe some judge me for not being at work for forty hours a week (I say being at work because between actually being at work and working from home I actually spend more than forty hours “working” at my job). I seriously cannot win with some people, it seems. The only people who seem to “get it” are the people I work with, and that is usually because they had the same sorts of schedules when they had small children. I actually think that a lot of the haters are jealous, who would not want to both be able to work and stay at home (and did I mention get summers off, I mean really). Usually I am only half-way a good mother, but the husband, he is man of the year.
Honestly if one more person asks me if he is “babysitting’ while I am at work I may kill them. And then I will fill the jury box with mothers and I will be let off scott free. Fathers do not “babysit” their own children, they parent them. I also get told constantly how “lucky” I am that he is such an active parent. Really I guess doing anything beyond the minimum for a man somehow qualifies him for a Nobel Prize. I am not knocking the husband here, he is a great dad and never sees himself as special just because he changes a diaper. He sees himself as a dad, first and last. The things he does are not “awesome” because he does them with a penis; they just make him a dad. Now If I could only convince everyone else. It is not that I mind people loving the husband; it’s just an irritation with the whole ideology that makes him special and me adequate. I mean no one is sending me cards that say “Awesome job with the laundry while you had a cranky toddler on your hip and an annoying dog begging to go out.” Although that would be an awesome card.

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