Posted by: mountainmomma18 | June 18, 2009

I may have been banned from Panera, or how I almost beat someone to death with their laptop

Dude I really need to quite going to Panera because eventually I will let go on some asshat and I will inevitably be out of bail money. Actually I have never had a problem with Panera before I had the bug and you know started taking my kid with me places. This is usually because I feel compelled to care for her and now that she is older, you know feed her and stuff. Now don’t me wrong I have always found the people who sit working on the computer and/or phone and shooting other people dirty looks, well there is no other way to say this, douches. Not everyone taking a working lunch or advantage of free wireless fits into this category, just the idiots who think that obviously everyone else in the PUBLIC restaurant should shut the hell up because they are working and are so very important and busy. Of course this is while blatantly ignoring the fact that if they were so important maybe they would have an office or something. And then there are the people always ready with some unsolicited parenting advice. Now I do not know why but these people seem to gather in grocery stores and, for some reason, Panera. Now every time we go into Panera we run into one or the other of these specimens and every time we leave I rant to the husband we will never return, but that Asiago cheese bread keeps me coming back every time. Today though may have been the last straw, that and I don’t know how welcome back I will be at said Panera after telling some guy he was in fact a douche and he could kiss my ass. I mean I didn’t say it loud or anything and the group of ladies sitting next to us thought it was funny. And yeah I probably should not have said it, but I am not sorry for it and I would do it again in a heartbeat because the guy needed to hear it. There we were having some dinner, eating and laughing, a freakin’ Norman Rockwell painting when the guy sitting at table across from us decided that my daughter’s sweet toddler laughter was just too loud and he shushes us. Yeah you heard that right, he shushed us right there in the middle of Panera while covering the mouth of his iphone. I gave him my “Excuse me dude did you just shush me look” and he says “I’m trying to work here.” Yeah that was it for me. The husband sat back with a little smile on his face because he knew what was coming and he also knew this guy deserved it. So I told him he was a douche and maybe if his call was so important he should take it in his office not in a public restaurant. He left in a huff as the table of ladies on the other side of him busted up laughing. Dude I so wish that I could say I make these stories up, unfortunately I do not. Oh and I hope I am allowed back in Panera because really again, Asiago cheese bagels. Enough said.



  1. Holy cow … you got the shush … I’ve never got the shush … The only time a shush should be issued is for inexcusable cursing. … or at the ICU.

    I am so sorry …

  2. I totally agree with your shush rules, the only time i have ever shushed anyone was once at the movies when this drunk guy (at 1pm in the afternoon cause i don’t pay full prime time money for the movies, only matinees) kept yelling stuff at the screen. but then he passed out, so he was quiet.

  3. Hahaha! Awesomeness.

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