Posted by: mountainmomma18 | July 1, 2009

Is crazy genetic?

So I would not say that I am a boring person, although I would categorize myself as pretty vanilla. I walk the straight and narrow, always have. I am probably about as normal a person you will find. This does not in any way make me boring, not only because I am clever and witty, but also because I have the best stories. You see I think one of the reasons I am so blissfully normal is because the vast majority of my family is bat shit crazy. Now I do not mean Jerry Springer crazy, but it would not be leap to say Maury crazy. When the husband first started meeting the family he would exit the gala affairs with a slightly shell shocked look on his face, and once in the car or at least out of ear shot he would turn to me and ask, “Are you sure you are related to these people?” I would assure him that yes I was in fact related to all of these people, by blood no less. He would always shake him head and tell me I should write a book, something he has repeated to me for almost a decade. And he is not the first or last to do so. In fact the only other normal one in my family, my cousin, let’s call her Sarah, always comment that we should get together and do so, but usually our normalness gets in the way, cause we do things like go to work, take care of our kids and spend time with our husbands, as opposed to the rest of the family who has no time to write because they are going to court dates, visiting spouses in prison, fighting with baby mamas/daddies and appearing on Judge Judy. Oh and many of them could hardly string together a coherent sentence after they dropped out or were expelled from high school. Surrounded by the crazy on all sides, growing up I took a different path, one I was probably offered because my parents were at the more sane end of the crazy spectrum, like more on the periphery of crazy, collaterally effected usually only because of their relation as well. So I spent the vast majority of my life being normal, acting normal (or what I thought normal acted like) and hoping that people were not able to link me to the crazy.

But as it turns out crazy is sometimes, or always, genetic and while my parents tried to keep my brother and I apart from the crazy that did not stop my brother from bringing it home with him. Now my brother really has a heart of gold, but horrible taste in women. In this way he is not unlike my uncles, or grandfathers for that matter. It seems the male taste of our bloodline runs toward psychotic females, it must be the pheromones or something. At first we thought that my brother would be spared, he dated and was engaged to a seemingly sane girl from the time he was 16-24. They even had a child together, but then they parted ways and it was all downhill from there. Actually this girl has, in the following years, crossed the boundaries many times from normal to a bit psycho, so maybe it was all just a ruse. Then he met another girl, let’s call her Pam. Pam at first seemed fine, dumb as a rock, but fine. But over the course of the next five years she got bat shittier day by day until last year when my brother showed up unannounced at my mother’s house with a suitcase and a car full of stuff.  It seems that Pam had gone from smoking a little weed now and then to full blown coke head. Lovely. She actually had sold a bunch of their stuff for drug money, including her engagement ring. My mother promptly installed my brother in the guest room until he could find another place, really until he could find the time to look for and save up for a new place. Then he started bringing home a new girl, and little did we know that she would increase the crazy population of our family as she would become my new sister-in-law, and she is by far the most bat shit crazy of the bunch. But that is a story for tomorrow.

Stay tuned for the adventures of my super crazy sister in law which include 3 fake pregnancies, a runaway marriage and being thrown in jail for contempt of court during an eviction proceeding!



  1. Wow. My family only has very proper (Dad’s side) and very loud (Mom’s side). While Mom’s side can nurse an imagined injury for decades, even they’re pretty calm in relation to your stories. My husband’s family is pretty much all neurotic. Looking forward to reading more…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: