Posted by: mountainmomma18 | July 8, 2009

Dude I totally think the crazies are following me!

So I think that spending all that time reading crazy people dribble online has really warped my sense of real life. Today I swore that I was being judged by some random people in public settings. The husband thinks that maybe I should take some time away from the internet, I think that his actual words were “Step away from the computer.” I will agree that maybe I should stay away from the nutjobs, but really I think I have a case for today. What do you think internets? Or rather the like three people who read me? The first incident happened this morning at breakfast. Since we really need to do some grocery shopping we did what any responsible adult would do in that situation, we went to Ihop. We were having fun and the bug was chowing down on some pancakes when the husband noticed that we had a code brown situation going on. Now normally I would swoop in, grab bug and head for the ladies, but after gallbladder surgery I am not allowed to lift anything over 15 pounds for 4 weeks. Tomorrow will be the half way mark, but we are still two weeks away from me dealing with changing a diaper in public. I smiled a bit at this because even at home I usually deal with the code brown situations, they tend to gross the husband out, but for some reason not me, plus he kills all bugs without even complaining about it, so you know we work together like that. So I hand the husband the diaper bag while we debate the likelyhood that this Ihop would have a changing station in the men’s bathroom. The husband decided not to chance it and took a cranky bug out to the car (she was cranky about both sitting in her own filth and having to leave behind pancakes it would seem). I sat at the table, drinking coffee and nibbling on pancakes (mine own, you know I would never steal my child’s food, what kind of monster do you think I am) when I noticed that this older couple sitting next to use were totally giving me the side eye. Actually the woman was giving me the side eye and clucked a little while the man was staring at my in absolute horror, I mean really what kind of mother drinks coffee while she makes her husband change a diaper? I almost felt like I needed to explain myself to them, telling them I was sorry but I just had surgery and couldn’t they see what a good mommy I was. But I refrained, until my husband came back with the bug and the man gave him this withering look like, dude you need to exert your manliness and quite that shit. Then I glared back with a “mind you own business you old bag” way. This first incident I am sure did not set me up well when something else occurred later in the day. We were taking a walk downtown, enjoying the sun and stopping at the bookstore when my husband said he wanted to stop at the cigar shop. It is summer after all, and when he is grilling us up some yums he likes to partake of a cold one and a cigar on the deck. So he ran in to grab some stogies and the bug and I waited outside, seriously the store is in one of those tiny and narrow downtown storefronts, so I didn’t want to try to steer the stroller around a minefield. But then the husband popped his head out of the door looking a bit sheepish, “You have my wallet,” he said and I could hear the older guys in the shop behind him razzing him about it. Now usually this is no big deal, most of the time when we are out somewhere the husband will give me his wallet and phone and ask me to hold them for him. And I do it cause I am a fantastic wife, and I have a purse, so it’s really no big deal. We usually joke about even, that I am like a pack mule. I cannot be the only wife who routinely has her husband’s wallet. So I hand it to him while trying to ignore the guys teasing him, “oh she has a short lease on you” and that crap, but I have to admit I was annoyed. And maybe if I had not read a bunch of chauvinistic crap I would have laughed, but I did and now I am annoyed, and I don’t know why.

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Responses

  1. Maybe you could make out little slips with that idiot’s blog address to hand out to all of the neanderthols you encounter. It would be nice for everyone to have a home…

    My husband does this thing that drives me absolutely nuts. He’s totally the bossiest one in our relationship. However, whenever we have to make a public decision about something (like a car purchase or when we’re looking at houses, or buying stuff from craigslist), he says “well, I have to check with the boss before I can make a decision.” I know this is a minor thing, done to deflect attention away from him for a minute. However, it bugs me because usually it’s about something in which I have no opinion, as he well knows. Also, it always leads to the knowing nods, and the commiserating about how oppressed husbands are.

  2. My husband does this when he does not actually want something, he will say oh my wife won’t let me or something like that. it seems to work but it’s really annoying cause then there are other men who shake their heads like yeah, they are all so oppressed.

  3. I think I know why you are annoyed. It’s that stupid thing that is drilled into all girls that they should be submissive to men and frilly and be the one and only carer for their kids. So when people judge you, you kind of agree with them a bit.

    You are damn right to make your husband change the kids, surgery or no surgery. And if you are friendly enough to be a mule for your man, that does not make him less manly.

    I hate people who judge women like that.

  4. hmmm. You know, some time ago, I saw a blinkie (you know blinkies? the animated buttons?) that really spoke to me. It said “God must love stupid people – he made so %&!#ing many of them”. Something made me think of that blinkie now.


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