Posted by: mountainmomma18 | October 14, 2009

Let’s work together to ban this shit now…

Someone had to do it, because obviously there are many, many people out there who do not know that slang phrases have a shelf life, and an age limit, and a cultural identity. And they need someone to let them know point blank that some phrases just need to die already, and never come back. Phrases and words that can now leave our common lexicon forever:

1. Ya know what I’m sayin’- no I do not know what you are saying and repeating that phrase after every sentence just makes it that much more difficult to understand what, in fact, you are saying.

2. Blew up my phone- my mother actually said this to me the other day, god knows where she got that from- I told her I was too old to use that phrase so she should stop- actually everyone should stop because someone is going to say that in line at the airport and that shit is not funny.

3. Fo shizzle- no, just no

4. Hellz yeah- unless you say it ironically, and let’s face it, who does, you are too old and middle class to get away with this.

5. Cougars- seriously? This is the best we can come up with for women who like to date younger men? Is there a male equivalent of that? Yes? What’s their name? Oh yeah they don’t have one, stop being a sexist douche.

6. Bra- used in place of bro- I do not know where this started, and I don’t care, just stop because it makes my ears bleed.

7. Man-date/Bro-mance- Again, we need to name a relationship in which two men hang out together? I once jokingly said my husband had a man-date when he was going out with his BFF- he said if I ever said that again he would never leave the house, also I should not use the term BFF when discussing men, I guess. Are men now just not allowed to be friends? That sucks dudes, sorry.

8. Git R Done- If I see one more person wearing a shirt with this saying on it I will not be held responsible for my actions, namely running them over with my car.

9. Epic- mostly because people who use this as an adjective or adverb actually have no knowledge of what it means. Dude your party was not, in fact, epic.

And phrases and words that can stay and/ or I am glad came back.

1. Douche- I do not know why this left us for awhile, but douche is now enjoying a renaissance- or douchaissance if you will. Thank god because sometimes this is the only word that works.

2. Hinky- Cause sometimes this is the only word for when something is just a little off.

3. Stabby- Oh thank you Bloggess for such a perfect adjective- it works on some many levels and it will not be long before it is in the OED.

4. Dude- I enjoy it and it works for everyone, really it has become non-gendered, and you can convey a whole conversation with just this one word.

5. Fail- cause that shit is funny.

What would you like to add to the list?

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Responses

  1. I don’t like “the asscrack of five am” – WTF?
    I love “WTF?”

    • I adore WTF, cause it lets me swaer without really swearing and if also so very apprapo

  2. I’m sorry but douche is so overused at this point that it needs to fade back into obscurity. I agree with your view that it is sometimes the only word that works, but let’s limit its use to those situations. The morning radio show that I listen to (which claims that its audience is predominantly 20-40 year old males) uses that word at least 7 times during my 1/2 hour commute. Every day.

    There are only about 3 people I know who should rightfully be able to use the word stabby. For everyone else, it seems contrived.

    Git R Done has never been very funny. Unless you’re Snoop Dog, Fo’ shizzle is awful. Hellz yeah – why? Who even started that?

    I love dude, though. And, while I love typing WTF, I HATE when people say it (uh, the abbreviation, not the full phrase. I like to say the full phrase at top volume).

    • Dude who says “WTF”? Someone who text-talks should totally be stabbed. And yeah douche will probably get played out at some point, but still the word is so very perfect.

  3. I laughed and nodded my head to all of these.

    Saying ‘Kittens’ in reference to blog readers, or used in a sense like the group around you are your mindless minions. I find it condescending.

    Manther is the male version of cougar which cracked me up the first time I heard it, but what woman have you EVER heard use this?

  4. “douchaissance” ha! Love it. I’m not that great with slang. Mostly I use words and phrases my husband and I have come up with, and we use them on each other and so nobody else knows what we’re talking about.


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