Posted by: mountainmomma18 | March 24, 2010

She’s a Maniac

So let me tell you about the joys of a two year old- oh you’ve already been there? Then for the love of god tell me how to make it stop! I’m just kidding of course, I know that the bug is just pushing boundaries and learning- but holy crap does it test your patience. Last night the husband had to put the bug in time out for telling him to “shut up” which I totally would have done, but I had to run into the other room to hide all of the laughing. This, for me, is one of the hardest parts of disciplining a small child- controlling the laughter because let’s be honest a lot of the times things that toddlers do are funny- like telling their dad to shut up (and seriously she did not get that from us, she did however get that from kids at the park- honest). Or when your toddler gets on her hands and knees to try to eat out of the dog’s bowl because she has spent the last few weeks pretending she was a dog- seriously she has taken to running to the front window with the dog to bark at passers-by. Again I think this is hysterical. This does not bother me, you have to pick your battles- and I remember my nephew insisting we let him take a nap in the dog’s crate when he was around this age- so it’s not strange.

And an aside for a funny story- when my nephew was this age we had just gotten our dog and were teaching him tricks like speak and roll over. Ty, my nephew thought that this was the coolest thing ever and decided that we needed to give him the commands to sit, speak and roll over and then after he performed these tricks pretend to throw him a dog treat- and the husband and I indulged him because- well it wasn’t my kid- I had the fun aunt rep to protect and I did not see the harm. That is until he wanted to nap in the dog’s crate. We convinced him not to do this by building him a little boy crate with blankets and a couple of chairs- it worked well and he actually took a nap and by the time my brother came back Ty was up and “scratched” at the door to be let out of his crate. My brother asked “Did you put my son in a pretend crate?” Uh, yeah- and he took a nap- so who was he to judge?

Now back to my problem, namely the screaming and feet kicking that happens when we dare to tell the bug no. This fits in nicely with her assertion that everything is hers. “Mine!” she yells at the top of her voice- and nothing will convince her that mommy’s glasses are in fact not hers and by the way these are replacements from the ones she broke in October. And the demands when she wants something she deems hers- anything- even things that are in fact hers. My days tend to go like this- “Mine!” “Yes that is your dolly- what’s her name?” “Mine!!” “That’s a strange name, but we can go with it if you’d like.” “Mine!!!!” “Yes that is your sippy wha..” “More!!!” “You want some more water? Can you say please mommy?” “Pease mommy!” And then cue tantrum as I go to the sink to GET HER MORE WATER because obviously I am either moving like molasses or she thought with just the request her sippy would just fill with water- I have no idea.

If it gets bad she goes in time out- but usually I just ignore the tantrums so she doesn’t think “Oh hell yeah I can get whatever I want just by screaming!” This only makes her angrier. She has taken to literally throwing herself down at my feet- I step over her and walk away; she gets up, runs to wherever I have gone and throws herself down again. She is mad and she wants me to know it. Also she really hates it if you do anything to amuse yourself at her expense when she is in the midst of one of these moods- the other day she started with the stomping her feet rapidly when she was told she could not in fact shove things into the heating vent.  As I begged the good lord for the strength not to ship her to my mother, the husband started sing “She’s a maniac, manic” because the bug did look like she was doing that running in place move from Flashdance. I started cracking up, which only made her even angrier and the piercing screaming started. So I started singing the Copacabana at the top of my voice until the bug held up her hand and yelled, “stop” which I thought was snotty even for a two year old. But by the end of the night everyone was laughing and in the end if you can’t make fun of your two year old for your own amusement, what is the point of having children?



  1. Wait until she has better command of the language! My charming (slightly dehydrated, which was the actual cause of all of this) 3 year old told me last night: 1. She doesn’t love daddy. 2. Daddy should go back to work, and I should stay home with her. 3. She doesn’t like me either, and we should just leave so she could be alone in the house. 4. She doesn’t love me anymore. 5. She wasn’t going to go home and go to bed, because she wasn’t tired or cranky.

    It was a very long 10 minute ride home from the grocery store…but 2 glasses of juice/water later, she was much better.

    How do you restrain yourself from laughing at the antics? The only time I can do it is when she’s really made me angry, and then I can just be withdrawn and sober. Otherwise, I’m coughing and snorting, and nobody buys it!

  2. heehee!

    mountain momma, both your blog and a’s comment made me giggle like crazy. reminded me of nasty times.. hehe. oh, those were the days! my 5-year old, fortunately has a milder temper as compared to both of yours, but she also had her moments.
    now that she’s 5, she’s adapted a new strategy. when we went swimming last saturday, she wanted to go back to the water immediately after eating and when i told her no she gave me the sad, soulfull eyes and chanted “please, mommy please!!!” and i felt rather guilty telling her to stay put for 10 mins more.

    i dread the future for the the three of us. 🙂

  3. This is why kids are hilarious. Unintentionally, of course, but still. I love it when they get all mad at you when they’re expecting you to react a certain way. Cracks me up every time.

  4. Ah, two. For us, the terrible twos started at 10 months. And now my son is three and a half. Within the past week, he got into the cat litter box and flung dirty litter on my baskets of clean laundry — and then when I confronted him about it, he bent down and scooped up a handful and threw it at me. Then when he was in timeout, he took off his pullup, threw it against the wall and smashed the inner fluffy stuff out of it. Repeatedly. Fun times. I feel your pain.

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