Posted by: mountainmomma18 | April 17, 2010

Accidental Hipster

So deciding that maybe one outgrows a black thumb, and needing some bright colors at the new house, the husband, bug and I ventured to our neighborhood Lowe’s to purchase some hanging flowers and plants to grace the front porch. Now I know nothing about gardening and have successfully killed every green thing that has ever entered my house, but I thought what the heck- besides the husband assured me that he knew something about planting. Also they had this totally cute Dora trowel and rake set that I knew the bug would love to play in the dirt with.  So it was decided- I would attempt to garden- and don’t worry funny pictures are coming, but that isn’t the story for today, today we will talk about how my husband called me a hipster- and then proved it and now I have to get a new haircut and all new clothes- or maybe I will just keep denying- that works right?

So there we were wondering around the gardening center, which was huge and awesome by the way. The bug kept yelling flowers and then laughing her ass off- which was totally awesome. But then we passed this total hipster couple who totally gave us a look when the bug laughed, probably to let is know that you know public is not a place for children.  Of course to do this they had to stop their haranguing some poor employee about not having enough organic potting soil or ladybugs for pest control of something like that.  I rolled my eyes at the husband and said something along the lines of “Uggg Hipsters,” when the husband laughed and actually said to me: “Honey you know that you are totally a hipster too right?

Me: The fuck? I am so not a hipster.

The Husband: Yeah, I know that you like to think that- but you’re wearing skinny jeans.

Me: That does not a hipster make- lots of people wear skinny jeans.

The Husband: You wear black framed glasses- also you got bangs last month.

Me: Uh.. I have to see don’t I? Also I got bangs because I totally needed a change-

The Husband: And when is the last time you had bangs?

Me: 1989- and what is your point?

The husband: And what are you wearing on your feet?

Me: What?

The Husband: Wellies? Pink wellies?

Me: It’s raining- besides they’re from Target.

The Husband: And the jacket?

Me: Uh..a fleece?

The Husband: What kind of fleece?

Me: You shut your whore mouth about my awesome eggplant fleece!

The Husbad:  Yes I know the color is “fab” but what is the name brand?

Me: Hello it was 60% off!

The Husband: Where?

Me: ::mumble::

The Husband: What was that?

Me: The Northface- and you suck and we are divorced for 10 minutes.

The Husband: I’m sure that there’s an app for that- check on your iphone-

Me: Also  I have the keys and your wallet because you cannot carry anything so have fun getting home.

The moral of the story is that I may in fact be a hipster- but not a douche- so there is something. Also my husband sucks- and probably a little bit of a hipster himself.

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Responses

  1. dude — awesome!!!! 🙂

  2. I don’t really get the whole hipster thing – I shopped at Whole Foods in the US and wear black frame glasses when I’m not wearing contacts, but I don’t wear fleeces, I wear cardis. But I wear skinny jeans. But not wellies, though I do have a pair.

    What am I?

    One thing I am is a fellow black-thumb, since my hubs if the green thumb in the family – while I, like you, tend to make plants go suicidal.

    • If we had a whole foods I would shop there- as it is I do a lot of shopping at the local food coop- I am so not helping my case here am I?

  3. Well, I never wear my glasses in public, I will not have bangs again, and while I think the wellies are cute, I won’t buy any, so I guess I’m safe from hipster-dom. Also, I am opposed to the iPhone. Phew!

    Green thumbs are not that hard – most plants generally thrive on benign neglect and regular watering!

    • I have contacts but am always a bit grossed out when I have to stick my finger in my eye- also I am usually just too tired to deal with them.

      But I love my phone- sorry- I would never give it up.

  4. I know you’re joking around, but being a “hipster” is about attitude not dress.

    You can dress like a GOTH GAL but that wouldn’t make you one unless you started body surfing at Rave clubs. (OK, I made all that up. I have no idea what they do)

    Anyway, I thought Skinny Jeans were more for GUYS who wear black eye liner?

    This was pretty funny!

    • I just started wearing the skinny jeans because someone told me that they make you look skinnier actually- I had my doubts, but I also have long legs and so they work.

      And men should NOT wear skinny jeans, or capris.


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