Today

Today should be the day that I explain my long absence from this blog, when I tell you all about how busy work has been as the semester ends, how we up and decided to move in the middle of all of this craziness especially as we packed up and headed on a family vacation to Florida, all right before the holidays, but instead I am writing to talk about how our second child was born sleeping last week. On November 21rst at 18 weeks 6 days pregnant my water broke while I was in Florida. I was taken by ambulance to the local hospital where an ultrasound showed that our baby has passed away about two weeks before. People keep asking me how we are and all I can answer with is numb. We were, I must admit, blindsided. Here I was in my second trimester of my second pregnancy that was progressing as smoothly as my first, we never saw this coming. The next few weeks will be filled with follow up appointments and testing that in the end will probably tell us nothing. It seems like this, like so many other things in life, will have no real answers. The best anyone has been able to tell us is it is just one of those things that happen. But there is hope, hope that we will have no trouble in the next pregnancy although I find it hard to even think about. Or maybe that is all that I can think about because the thought of never smelling the sweet breath of a baby would be too much for me to bear. The fact that we have a happy and healthy child is our hope that we will have more. But for now we are just concentrating on getting through Christmas and unpacking the new house before spring thaws out this cold.